BULSInside returns to bring you a special update on Tom Marley’s latest activities. Many readers have written to BULS HQ asking for our latest efforts into BULS’ favourite sport of Marley stalking.
After walking out on the Labour Club so un-graciously, Marley has become Vice-President Education and Access, in our Union, and has demonstrated perfectly why people such as himself should have no access to education at all. In an office that directly overlooks our campus, Tom Marley has been plotting to bring down several university power groups. Last week, Marley stormed into the RedBrick office with a letter which has been described as “utterly outrageous”, decrying the efforts of Socialists on campus to raise awareness about important issues. No response has yet been heard from the socialists but it is thought they have gone into hiding, in the doldrums of the Guild, where Marley’s power is less than stable. It has also been rumoured that Marley, in an effort to upset People and Planet, decides not to get his coffee from the Guild’s fairtrade supplier, instead he ventures into Birmingham City centre to buy his beverage from uber-capitalists Starbucks. BULSInside also understands that Marley frequents Subway.
Whilst Marley has left BULS, it is still important that we in the student movement know exactly what he’s getting up to. Any tips from readers will be much appreciated. Email them to the usual address.