Yesterday evening an unknown man was buzzed into our building, entered our apartment through the door we often leave open and offered my flatmate money for sex. After a clear refusal in Turkish, English and Spanish, a violent struggle and threats to call the police he eventually went home, and we were left feeling terrified and dirty.
The consensus about the event among my Turkish friends is as follows: that it is known in the neighbourhood that our apartment is occupied by young foreign women, who are probably not Muslim and definitely without the support of a large family bent on avenging insults to its women. Our brothers, fathers and uncles are far away, and we probably act like the American women in gossip magazines anyway, so will welcome advances. And if we don`t like it we can go back to where we came from.
Other things I find difficult to adjust to in İstanbul are the poor record on women`s liberation, the high birthrates, the tradition of the hostess never sitting down during a meal but continuing to serve throughout, the constant and indiscriminate leering by men of all ages and the incredible statistic that only 10% of Turkish women are in employment.
It all makes the Ed/Yvette leadership issue look very, very trivial.
Suzy
This is very interesting and rather worrying considering the lengths to which the PM is going to persuade Turkey to join the EU, don’t you think? Widely regarded as a tolerant and democratic secular Muslim state, I’ve always thought that Turkey would be a good member of the EU, especially as a bridge between East and West. Maybe it’s time we took a closer look at the deeper cultural attitudes to women there rather than their laws and other customs.
Having said that, as you rightly say, it’s all relative – one could argue that our leaders have no right to go around preaching about respect while at the same time condoning a “They’re asking for it” mindset amongst some of the media and in our society…
Thanks Luke! I agree with you about the “asking for it” mindest (which is definitely higher among the tories) and that Turkey`s record is worrying, but were it not for the current financial instability of the euro zone I would be all in favour of Turkey joining the EU. I can`t see how society will change here without a bit of openess to the West, but it`s quite hard to get a visa into Europe proper if you`re a Turkish citizen. It`s easier if you know English or Spanish, but the problem with having language students travel is that by the time they`ve made the decision to learn a language you`re kinda preaching to the choir in terms of cultural openess.
I don`t think Germany will ever agree to Turkey becoming a full member because the Turks who live in Germany (all 3 million of them) are stuck in the past and super conservative in terms of gender roles, which leaves a bad impression of the entire nation.
This whole episode has helped me clarify a few things though, including what chivalry actually is – it`s a considerateness towards women arising from the knowledge that they are in real and present physical danger. The modern form, in Birmingham say, would involve less paying for drinks and walking people home and more getting involved in housework or voting us into public office. By and large in Britain we are far more vulnerable to being underrepresented in parliament or doing all the unpaid labour in the home than we are to getting raped in the street or having no independent income.